Confessions of an Art Student Read online

  Fortunately for her, this time I was well and truly on my best behaviour. There was one too many new faces from my course (and maybe even a trainee lecturer from college?) to be acting like a twat that night. Andrew and I were getting on great so far, and I didn’t want to ruin that by making a dick of myself. With Rachel by my side not even copious amounts of alcohol would break my sensible, mature façade for his birthday.

  By ten the party was in full swing. There was already a drunk passed out halfway up the stairs, the music was blaring.

  Clearly one group of drinkers were concerned about the dwindling levels of alcohol. All we heard was laughing and screaming from a couple of guys, and then from the darkness of the lane came the roar of a shopping trolley. Going way too fast, it was driven by two guys with someone sat in it protecting the beer. This was clearly going to end in disaster.

  “Slow down, slow down, you’re gonna kill me!” The guy in the trolley screamed, still laughing.

  But it was too late. They were going way too fast and obviously had no control of what they were doing. How Tesco’s had served them, I’ll never know. The weight of the trolley had obviously run away from them whilst coming down the hill. A few yards from the front gate, the trolley hit the kerb before flying in the air. With such a metallic crash, the booze flew out and so did the guy in it. Cans were exploding left right and centre and the drunk had plunged straight into the hedge.

  “He’s fine! Don’t worry!” Shouted one of the trolley drivers to the crowd of onlookers.

  I couldn’t tell if he was more concerned about his friend or the wasted beer, as he inspected the crash site. Ugh, and then came the familiar party sound of chucking up. I made a note to check any new can of beer for sick before drinking.

  Party-goers had spilled out everywhere to see what the commotion was. Out the front of the house as far as the road, people were laughing and joking about.

  There were also groups of people out back, illuminated by a string of multi-coloured lights. With loud voices, louder music and empty cans everywhere you looked, it was clear everyone was having a great time.

  After inadvertently stumbling on more than one couple in darkened rooms upstairs whilst looking for the bathroom, I could tell that this was absolutely the wildest night I’d had. I didn’t dare think what was happening in the darkened corners of the garden!

  None of us were kids anymore, why shouldn’t we enjoy ourselves? Particularly considering we were at an age when our parents were trusting of us enough to allow parties like this. Sure the house would be a bombsite the following day, but I was sure no real damage would have been done.

  On top of what was already turning out to be the best party we’d all been to, I was still hoping that it might also be the night for Rachel and I to finally get some action… To take our relationship the next step. I was ready, and I'm pretty sure Rachel was as well. We just needed to get the right time, and most importantly some privacy.

  After eventually finding the bathroom and relieving myself, I bumped into Andrew on the darkened landing upstairs.

  “Hey. Are you having fun?” He asked whilst swaying from side to side a little more than I was. He placed a hand on my shoulder, more to steady himself than anything else.

  “Yeah! Great Party!” I proclaimed… At this stage I was still holding myself up pretty well, all things considered, even though by this time of the night I had drank far more than my seventeen year old frame should really handle.

  “Dammit. She’s not here. Amelia didn’t turn up.” Andrew complained.

  I couldn’t tell if he was genuinely upset, or just hamming it up for added effect. He then wrapped his arm around my neck and drew me close.

  “Who am I going to fuck now?” He whispered, with a sly grin across his face.

  “Hmm…” I paused; “I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

  With that I left him on the landing to go and find the others.

  I still didn’t know him all that well. I don’t know if he was joking or if he was genuinely disappointed. He was definitely now drunk. Maybe he was hoping for the whole party to turn into one big orgy? I was sure those people I had walked in on earlier had been having sex. And he did say that Rachel and I, and my other friends could sleep over. I assumed that was so we didn’t have to go back home drunk, but maybe he had other ideas? He could have planned to have an organised gang-bang, and just forgot to tell me? Bloody hell, having sex for the first time with ONE person would have been enough. I don’t think I could have handled a whole house to shag my way through at seventeen. After all I was still a virgin at this point and had drank quite a bit already.

  Maybe I was just reading too much into it. Andrew did have older friends and he did seem mature. Perhaps this was just what people were like at these parties. Or, very likely he could have been joking; hiding the disappointment of Amelia not turning as he’d hoped. Either way; it was different and exciting and I was really glad that my friends and I had been invited.

  Downstairs it seemed that the evening had rather predictably taken a turn for the worse. Rachel informed me that Chris and Dean had had to make a swift exit. It seemed that the game of beer-pong on the dining room table had been too much for them. Having both thrown up in spectacular fashion, Rachel had successfully persuaded them into a taxi home. It didn’t seem a good idea for them to stay over in their state especially as they didn’t really know anyone else there. I don’t think the night of flirting had been the success that they had hoped for, which on reflection, I’m sure was for the best.

  I remember being relieved that Amelia hadn’t shown up in the end. Being the beautiful girl she was I could picture Danny also making a shot for her, and that would have been more than a little awkward. Danny was always very good at meeting new people. Early in the night he was off making new friends and was now having a blast with one of the girls from my new college that even I didn’t know.

  “Look, if you don’t mind I think I’m going to go too.” Rachel said after filling me in with the boys’ antics.

  “Are you sure? Do you want me to come with you?” I asked. The time for us to do it had seemingly passed by this point. That was okay. Neither of us were particularly desperate to rush it, especially now she had her own room at university. As far as the evening was going, I really hoped that she wouldn’t mind me staying longer. I was clearly enjoying myself and really wasn’t ready for the night to end. It felt good to be out getting to know my new college friends outside of the studio.

  She promised she didn’t mind, as I waited with her at the front door. Before she left, we kissed and for the first time since we had been seeing each other, I whispered to her that I loved her.

  “I love you too.” She kissed me back just before getting into the waiting taxi.

  My heart was pounding with adrenaline and a whole host of emotion. I had reached that point for the first time in my life where I had committed to someone else. Someone that was so special to me. It was a warm feeling all the more special for being requited, and I will never forget it.

  I remember closing the taxi door on Rachel as she drove away. I remember the few people still outside; smoking and drinking and I vividly remember Andrew bursting out of the front door shouting my name. The evening was electric, and I had no intentions of calling it a night any time soon.

  I got back inside and clearly the rest of the house seemed to be as drunk as I had become; but not quite as drunk as my friends had been. Trust my lot to be such lightweights!

  There was a crowd gathering in the front room and a lot of playful pushing and shoving as a group of about eight or so made a circle around the floor.

  “Come on… We’re gonna play a game.” Andrew grabbed my hand.

  We pushed our way through the masses and both found a spot opposite each other to sit down in the circle.

  I hadn’t played ‘Spin The Bottle’ in a long time. If I hadn’t have been so drunk I would have instantly refused. But with my sense of judgement clouded and the excitement of all of these new people, I really didn’t think about Rachel or if she would mind or not. It was only a game, after all.

  “Three. Two. One. Spin!” A guy standing up behind me shouted with excitement to kick things off. For such a mature-seeming party, everyone was up for the fun of such a childish game.

  The room was packed at this point. My head was spinning and I was on the cusp of losing all senses. If I’d have stopped drinking then, I could have sobered up. If I was to drink much more in the next 30 minutes I would have passed out. And if I had chosen either of those options, my life wouldn’t have changed so drastically over the following months.

  Jenny, one of Andrew’s school friends span first. The bottle landed on another girl who was sat next to me. I don’t know why, but instantly I assumed that Jenny would just spin again. However, she didn’t. She leant over and kissed the girl as if it was the most normal thing in the world. The girl, Becca, swung her arms in the air, as if to approve… It then clicked; Becca, from my course, probably was the lesbian I thought she was. The rest of the room erupted in cheers. After a moment they both collapsed into me, before breaking up ready for the next spin.

  The game went on and with every kiss the intensity and excitement increased along with the cheering.

  “Wooo…. Look who the Birthday boy got!” I heard someone shout before I realised what was happening.

  Before I had chance to react, Andrew had leant across the centre of the circle and was close enough for me to feel his hot breath on my lips. Now full swing into the game, and having seen everyone else having fun, being sober I may have just absentmindedly pecked him anyway, just to be a good sport. I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it. But with all inhibitions lost to alcohol, I felt him close and took him
in for a moment before our lips touched. My body tingled with excitement. Not because I had any sort of feeling for him but because it was new and exciting. I guess I was over analysing what should have been a silly party game.

  Once again, the room erupted with cheers and chanting but that was all drowned out by my heart pounding in my chest.

  Our lips connected for only a moment, but I felt the soft, wet tip of his tongue just penetrate between my lips and it sent tingles that radiated through my whole body.

  As we parted, just before I had my chance to spin I heard Danny burst into the room. He almost fell over the people that were sat crowding the doorway. He managed to shout “Way-hay” before giving me the double thumbs up and collapsing straight as a pole down on the floor like a logged tree.

  “Shit, I better sort him out.” I suddenly sobered up just enough; excusing myself from the game to deal with him.

  “Here, I’ll give you a hand.” Andrew offered.

  With Danny over our shoulders, we could hear the game had restarted before we had even left the room. No one had given Danny or us a second thought. It was all just part of the fun.

  “He can go in the back bedroom. I don’t think there is anyone sleeping in there yet.” Which was fortunate because I feared Danny was way past getting into a taxi without a considerable clean-up charge.

  We carried him up the stairs with a reasonable amount of effort and dragged him over and onto the bed. His bulky rugby-built frame was heavy and as we were now lightheaded ourselves we both collapsed down with him in the dark room for just a moment. It would have been easy to fall asleep there and then, right next to my best friend. I probably should have done. It would have saved me a whole lot of bother.

  Instead, moments after we had collapsed I was led back out of the room and up into the converted loft. More of a stumble-grab than anything more contrived. At the time, I didn’t question why he was leading me away or where to, and I didn’t care. He hadn’t given me a tour of the upstairs, so at that point I wasn’t sure where he was leading me.

  He pushed the door closed behind us; shutting out the rest of the party and apprehensively approached me. He stood with his face so near to my own, in the darkened room. It was strange; other than Rachel, I’ve never been so close to someone before, especially not to someone as tall as me. This was another new experience that I didn’t quite understand.

  We stood there together for a moment. I could feel the excitement building in him. His slight panting, so near to me. For the second time that evening, I could feel his breath on me and I realised I liked it. It stirred something within me and for the first time in Andrew’s company I felt excited. Even a little bit aroused.

  “Are you okay?” he asked me very calmly. I knew what he was referring to and I could tell that this, whatever it was, would be a first for him as well.

  Although I didn’t answer him, I’m sure he could feel me nod slowly. With this, he slid his hands down my back and tenderly pulled me into him. I felt his lips gently pressed against mine again and the excitement of something so daring exploded inside of me. I could feel the urges within him too and I wanted to experiment further.

  Looking back, I should have stopped. I cared a lot for Rachel. Heck, that very night I’d told her for the first time that I loved her and I meant it. It’s just that something very mysterious seemed to be brewing between Andrew and I and I had to know what it was.

  I knew I was being selfish but I didn’t want to stop. I couldn’t. With Andrew, there in his bedroom I just couldn’t prevent myself from experimenting and exploring this new exciting territory with him. It was now or never, and I just couldn’t let this experience pass me by.

  My body began tingling all over; both psychological and physical excitement washed over me and it felt amazing. The anticipation of the unknown and the fear of doing something inherently wrong and against who I was made my actions even harder to resist.

  “I can’t help it. I want to touch you.” Andrew whispered into my ear nervously as he ran his hand around, slowly towards my stomach.

  The tingling that slipped down my torso, making its way into my groin was divine. I knew from that one touch alone, my boxers would be wet with pre-cum. I didn’t want him to stop.

  I pushed into him. My lips back on his, exploring his deep wet mouth with my own. His stubble was a strange and unfamiliar feeling against my mouth, but I liked it. Our bodies were tight up against each other and even fully clothed, I could feel my now throbbing erection pressed up against his. The danger of something so new and exciting was electrifying. I was close to climaxing with this strange intimacy; it was pure ecstasy. It was the first time I had experienced anything with another guy before, and I didn’t want it to end. I pulled my groin away from his just momentarily, edging away from passion as to delay what we were experiencing for as long as possible.

  Fumbling with busy hands, we couldn’t seem to get enough of one another. Our exciting panting was even turn on. I was clearly turning Andrew on as much as he was me and it was the most exciting feeling I’d ever experienced. We just couldn’t stop kissing, squeezing and rubbing one another.

  This was all too much for Andrew and I could feel his body shiver with excitement as he released next to me. I was amazed and so flattered that for the first time in my life, I was able to have this effect on someone. With a quiet groan, Andrew sighed in my ear and sent another stream of tingles down my spine. His satisfaction pushed me closer and closer to the edge of my own climax. He could tell that I was holding back and took delight in the challenge.

  He slowly leaned me onto his bed whilst not taking his lips off mine. Towering over me, I could feel him fumbling with the buttons of my jeans. The friction of his busy hands only took me closer to the edge. I wanted to wait for him, but the sexual tension was so intense I was so hard I could have exploded.

  Andrew excitedly slid down my torso. His clumsy and nervous moves did nothing to dampen my arousal. Before he’d reached the tight elastic of my underwear with his wayward lips, his hands had already released my hard, wet penis. But he was too late; I had already ejaculated. Making a mess across my boxers and jeans, I’d never felt satisfaction like it before. I should have been embarrassed… I certainly would have been if I hadn’t been drinking, but instead I took his eager mouth back up to mine and sank in to a passionate kiss with him for what felt like hours.

  ***

  It must have been around four in the morning when we both stirred. Still in the same position as we must have fallen asleep in and still in half of our clothes. At this point, neither of us had thought about what we were doing, or the ramifications that would surely follow. We just blissfully and excitedly continued what we had started a few hours before.

  Fumbling with our jeans and underwear, we then began exploring each other with our lips. We used our tongues, our hands, all the while our bodies writhed in delight. We were both filled with a fresh dose of sexual tension that needed to be released again. Neither of us seemed nervous and we proceeded as though it was all we knew. The connection was so strong and I could feel his body like a magnet drawing me to him.

  This time, Andrew didn’t want to miss my pleasure. Before I had even opened my eyes to the glow of moonlight from his Velux window, he had worked his way down my torso once again. This time he’d managing to take me in his mouth before it was too late.

  Firm yet gentle, his lips had engulfed my penis. Using his hand, he began working my cock, not taking his mouth away from me as he slid my foreskin up and down. The warm moist sensation was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced and it took only moments before I had released myself into him with a shudder of gratification and a heady groan. It was magical, and to this day I’ll never forget the warmth that I felt from him then.

  He came back up to me to caress and kiss me. I could taste my own saltiness on the tip of his tongue as a reminder that I had just experienced oral sex for the first time. It was magnificent. The worries and guilt that would greet me the next morning seemed like a lifetime away as I drifted away, back to sleep.